Brain Injury and Friendships and a Meaningful Life: Dementia and My Dad

Dementia and My Dad
La plaque Imagine sur Strawberry Fields, à New York, en hommage à John Lennon. Photographie par Ramy

 

A bit over a week ago my Dad died after years of living with dementia. In the last years of his life he had few visitors other than my Mum. He spent much of his time pacing up and down a hospital corridor in a locked Dementia unit.

I am telling you this snippet about my life because I am suggesting this happens to many, not just my Dad.

I believe the disappearance of friends and supporters, and a lack of things to do is common, and life limiting for many people with brain injury.

It is not only people with Dementia. Younger people with brain injury may not be pacing up and down a corridor yet no matter their age, or the cause of their brain injury, people can experience a loss of friends, loneliness and a lack of meaningful activity.

We hear “the government” needs to do more. We hear “the system fails” people. We hear “services are inappropriate”.

Yet the major change that needs to happen is in each of us. It is in the general community. Person by person we can make a difference.

 

Imagine Brain Injury and Friendships and a Meaningful Life for All

IMAGINE IF

each of us welcomed someone who was struggling with being, or feeling different into our lives.

IMAGINE IF

each of us continued to visit people we know when they have changes such as brain injury impact their lives.

IMAGINE IF

we created vibrant places for people with dementia and brain injury to live.  Places where even though people might be away from their home they had lots of familiar things around them, and familiar activities to engage in.

IMAGINE IF

friends were supported to understand what brain injury means, the changes in their friend and had support to continue their friendship.

IMAGINE IF

we put energy into supporting each person’s strengths and creative talents to find new ways of engaging in life.

IMAGINE IF

we all stopped fearing difference and sought to understand it, letting it enrich our lives.

IMAGINE IF

“diversity” was more than a word. Imagine it really did describe the communities we all live in.

Yes I know it is a bit of a rant, and a wish list. I am indulging myself just for today. While I might be basing this on my own personal experience with Dad, my feelings for what should and could happen are for everyone.

Can you add any IMAGINE IFs about brain injury and friendships and a meaningful life?  Please post your thoughts in the Comments below.

It does not seem so hard really. Can We Make It Happen?

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. Ric Johnson

    Imagine if, each state held a parade for brain injury survivors, so brain injury can stop being called the silent or invisible injury.

    1. Melanie Atkins

      Great point Ric. Imagine the Invisible becoming Visible and understood!

  2. This is so beautifully written Melanie. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, I had no idea. I have a sister who has cerebral palsy and we’re really accustomed to celebrating difference and being supportive of others in similar situations. My siblings and I grew up visiting the hostel linked to the special school and spending time with the kids and it’s something that’s continued in our adulthood…

    1. Melanie Atkins

      Thankyou Vanisha for your thoughts and story. Sometimes these articles take hours and days to research and write, this one just flowed and the words were on the page in a very short time. The image, which I love, then just appeared. Meant to be I guess. Lovely that it resonated with my Mum as well.

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